Dear Ms. Rustik: I love my wife, actually my common-law wife. We have three children together but were never legally married. She’s great with the kids, great cook, great listener, GREAT. But she’s 75 pounds overweight and I can’t get it up with her. I just can’t. I know she’s depressed about it. I’m not having affairs, but it doesn’t help the situation. She needs physical love and she’s not getting it. I don’t know what to do. I’m physically repulsed. – Can’t Get It Up
Dear Can’t: I am always mystified by this problem with men. It’s usually men who complain about not wanting sex with their dumpy mates. What’s mysterious about this is their mirror. What do they see there? Cary Grant? Brad Pitt?
If you look in the mirror, Fella, you probably see a balding, pot-bellied man with a sparse beard, yellow teeth, bad breath, ugly belches, frequent farts, veiny legs, flat feet. You are no prize. Maybe she’s turned off by you.
The reason you are not having affairs could be your fear that you can’t find anyone who will overlook your beer belly. Too bad you didn’t send a picture, then I’d know. Meanwhile, if everything about your wife is good except her looks, don’t look.
